Help
Sign In
connections
March 2009 
What friend or beloved family member lives furthest from you?
Posted on Aug 29th, 2008
by 
Lynx
Lynx
This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for August 28, 2008:
My brother is currently beginning the final year of a 4 year Tibetan Buddhist retreat... although he's only on the island of Arran in Scotland, which isn't SO far away.. he might as well be on the moon really. We can communicate every month by post, a short postcard length letter, which he has taken to heart, literally, he sends the whole family (our parents, my sons and me) one postcard between us. It doesn't tell us much.. though my mum tries to extract meaning from five lines!
It's been a pretty tumultuous three years, with the break-up of our nuclear family and a rough divorce.. sometimes I feel like I could really have done with the support of his presence, and at other times I recognise that we have very different ways of working through things, and maybe we got to avoid disappointment and unsuccessful communication - though I don't really believe that!
I respect his decision to do this retreat, and his feeling that it will be of benefit, but goddam enough already! I want my brother back!!!!
It's been a pretty tumultuous three years, with the break-up of our nuclear family and a rough divorce.. sometimes I feel like I could really have done with the support of his presence, and at other times I recognise that we have very different ways of working through things, and maybe we got to avoid disappointment and unsuccessful communication - though I don't really believe that!
I respect his decision to do this retreat, and his feeling that it will be of benefit, but goddam enough already! I want my brother back!!!!
Access: Public
Mmmm
That would be a tough one to deal with, I can see that. My brother here is a loner and it’s unfortunate because he is the only member of my resident family that I relate to at all… but I have had to accept that he is happy the way that he is and that when we connect with each other it is going to be a very warm and friendly greeting and embrace, with love.
That is often well worth the wait to get together.
I can easily ‘see’ other members of my resident family but they are so cold and closed to affection that I feel like I am working hard as hell just to find a connection between us… If it feels like work, check it out!
I can literally feel the ‘state’ that any one of them is in at one time. The first brother I mentioned, right now, I can feel him smile… I just feel confusion with the others… What can I say, I’m super-sensitive.
Feel his love at the heart and you will know, and love him all the way!
Bless you darling. Sherri
Hey Sherri.. thankyou for speaking to that part of me. I do know that as he is close to me, he is close to me always… and not suprisingly I've felt his presence in my heart in some pretty neat ways over the last 3 years.
It did feel good to let that 5 yr old part of myself stamp her foot though - we just heard the date the retreat will be done and will be going there to meet him …. yay!!!
Sometimes super-sensitive is heavy going huh?! Wouldn't change it for the world though… love you :-)
Hope it is all you wish for when you meet up, 4 years is a long wait, it may seem strange for him at first after the retreat, he will likely appreciate your love and support.
I'm sure you are spot on Zephyr. I think it will all seem very strange for him. It will probably be quite a challenge to be with his family again.
I love the Ram Dass quote which I heard recently 'If you think you're enlightened, go spend a week with your family'!
We have a good relationship with each other. It will be very sweet just to be able to see him, and blessed be, to hug him - not too much maybe, but just a bit!
My sons have gone from 6 and 9 to 10 and 13 years old.. and our parents from 69/70 to 73/74 .. he will see many changes.